Link, has come to town!

Be more constructive with your feedback, please.
http://www.ece.umn.edu/users/jsartori/

Googletronic

Announcing to the world . . . my website! (Really, just announcing it to Google, since I don't think anyone reads this blogg. If you do actually read this, I think we need to have a talk.)

http://users.crhc.illinois.edu/sartori2/

There you go Google -- index it. Do it now.

Word!

Dwight Schrute's attempt to describe himself in three words:
Hard-working, alpha male, jackhammer . . . merciless . . . insatiable . . .

It just so happens that a few of those words also fit the description of yours truly.

Insatiable - I'm constantly trying to learrn something new. I can't sit still for more than about a minute and a half without thinking of a thousand other things I could or should be doing. This insatiable curiosity, if you will, has led me into countless hobbies, adventures, crazy skills, and fact-seeking endeavors.

One way I picked up awhile back to feed scraps to my neverending hunger for knowledge is "Word-a-day" from some guy named Wordsmith. Each day, Mr. Smith sends out an email with a new vocabulary word, the definition, origin, and all that literary jazz to his faithful listserv subscribers, including a certain JMS. Although I learn a few of these new vocabulations each week, I never really see myself using any of these words in daily locution. Let me check my email for an example right now . . .

Ok, here is today's word:
hirsutulous (hur-SOO-chuh-luhs) adjective: Minutely hirsute. Come now, doesn't this Wordsmith guy know the definition of circular reasoning? Good thing I already know what hirsute means: covered with hair. So, I guess hirsutulous refers to some one who is covered with hair, minutely, if that is even possible. I highly suspect that it's not, which is why I don't put much stock in learning these words. I just end up using my own words to describe things anyway. This gave me an idea.

If thousands of people will subscribe to a mass mailing list to make words like hirsutulous part of their everyday vernacular, then why shouldn't I create my own daily vocabulary lessons? I'll tell you why; no one will read it. Then why am I going to proceed with this idea anyway? Because, someone might read it.

Let's get to it then - the first of possibly several glimpses into the unique, inexplicable, and usually nonsensical phraseology of JMS.

Today's word: mellishment
noun: a state of being profoundly sensational or excellent
usage: Sweet mellishment!
translation: I'm feeling indescribably happy and felt the need to express this sentiment verbally.
origin: an exclamation employed by JMS after sinking yet another shot to extend an unbeaten streak in backyard basketball

Over the years, mellishment has spawned several devivatives such as remellished and mellicious.

Enjoy this newest addition to your own personal loquacity. Use it well and spread the word.

What does it all mean?

[1]















[2]

[3]

[4?]

Since the last photo won't upload correctly, I generously offer 1900 bonus points to the first person who can provide a link to the final image in this sequence and supply the captions.

Afterthought . . .

I have often thought (if ever my mind wanders to the topic of blogging) that I'd like to create informative posts. Does anyone want to go to a blogg and have to learn things, though? Well, do you?

By the way, blogg now has 2 g's.

BCrttP

I have produced a post. I wonder if anyone out there is still watching. . .




If so, claim your 314 bonus points.

Animate

What makes a good book good? I contemplated this as I sat down to write the childrens' book that I'm about to write. I didn't come up with much, so maybe yous guys can tell me.

So, without any perception of the properties of a good book- except goodness- and a relative disregard for grammatical and logical sensibility, I endeavor to bring you literary gold.

Good authors probably plan out their books before they write them, too. Hm. Anyway, here it comes, straight from my brain to your terminal.


So there I was, implementing a control system for my broom balancing trick, when low and behold, David Copperfield showed up. His entrance was proclaimed by trumpets which I had implemented with a feedback system designed for the class. Once we had established the broom trick, it was on to bigger and better venues: tackling the statue of liberty. I, of course, developed a control systems implementation of the duck beheading module that was originally invented by ancient Incas in the ruins of Teotiuhacan high in the Andes. This mechanism led to millions of dollars in grant money, and I decided to imbezzle it all and head for the source. I needed to head to Peru.

Once I made up my mind, there was no turning back. I sold my carrot peeler, Timex alarm clock, and styrofoam water bottle and started walking. I put all of my money in the form of a 257 thousand dollar bill. Finally, when acceptable values for q1 and q2 were found, they were tested on the servo via Simulink and WinCon. The design process was repeated until physical tests resulted in the exploding wombat phenomenon.

Along the way west, I met a young kid on the side of the road. I hired him to lay down some heavy riffs with his bass guitar. Boy, he was really jammin'.

I reached Lance City, Oregon on May 9 of that year and jumped the first ship I saw, assuming it would bring me straight to South America. My assumptions we correct, of course. The ship was called the Mayan Flag, and the captain's name was Wraith McArty. However, I was more interested in making friends with the cook. He was a monkey named Perico, and his assistant was a crazy old man whose name I never learned in the 42 month journey south. I just called him Zeeb.

One day Zeeb and I were playing cards on the poop deck and enjoying a fine bottle of saltwater brandy when a shout went up- down actually- from the crow's nest. "Pirates," Sill shouted, but it was too late because the pirates were ghost pirates and had already scuttled the ship by the time I laid down my 3 of clubs.

It turns out the first mate had sold us out to the pirates for 3 pieces of 8. I think he got ripped off, personally. That monkey would fetch at least 12 pieces of 8 alone, not to mention the 59 barrels of golden dubloons that the old Maya was transporting to the mills in Vera Cruz. After the pirate incident, I found myself floating aimlessly, hanging on a piece of driftwood. I made a loom out of pixy stix, and shaved my head with an old corn cob pipe that I had in my back poket. The tremendous amount of hair from my 4 foot afro proved to be more than enough to weave a sail, which I attached to the driftwood. I also used my trusty pocket knife to carve a flute out of a piece of coral that I retrieved off the bottom of the ocean. How I got the coral is an altogether different story.

One day I was practicing my skills of floating on a piece of driftwood when a giant fish-beast charged to the surface and dinged me right in the kidney. "Ouch," I said, "that smarts." The fish-beast looked mean, but he had a heart of gold. He could obviously see my perilious situation, and offered to tell me the secret location of a great treasure that lay hidden on the bottom of the sea. Although I could hold my breath for about 2 and a half hours at this point, I still didn't have the lungs to make it down to this secret locale. So, I made a deal with that crazy fishamonse. In exchange for his gills, I gave him a picture of some guy named Frederick and a pitcher of Kool Aid. Oh yeah! What a great deal, he thought. He said I could keep the gills since he had an extra pair in his bureau back home.

After donning my new gills, I swam down to the deepest depths of the sea. It's a pretty happening place, actually. When I got there, I saw the location of the treasure marked by a shadowy 'X' that was produced by the angle of the sun on an underwater cave outcropping. I swam inside and found the great treasure that the fish beast had hinted of. I was very disappointed, however, to learn that the great treasure turned out to be peace under the sea or some jazz like that. In frustration, I went to old fishy's house and stole the finest piece of coral out of his underwater garden. He sent some grassfish after me, but by this point I could swim about 1001 rods per millisecond and easily escaped.

As I floated for days and days, I practiced on the flute and invented new trinkets in my spare time. Finally, I got good enough to play a wind song which could change the direction of the winds. I used my new talent to direct my ship south. Once again I was on my way to the land of the Peruana.

By this time I was getting pretty hungry, since I hadn't eaten anything besides the dried breadfruits that Perico had given me and the can of dried flour I had won in the poker game on that fateful day so long ago. I bartered with a pellican who taught me how to fish. He always told me how you could teach a drifter to fish with a few beads and some cross-country skis. In fact, that's how I learned to fish.

I floated along, always south, and one day a beautiful sight caught my eye. It was the land of my destiny, the land of Peru. . .

Kentucky Nightmare

Look, in the heat of conversation, I may have said certain things I don't believe to be true. Still, when I say that I'm going to do something- such as write a book- I occasionally mean it.

So, let me offer this explanation to all of you who are holding me to that binding book obligation. The alleged lie you might have heard me saying, allegedly, moments ago . . . that's just a parasite that lives in my keyboard. What other explanation is there for a failing liquor chain that's sponsored by a shark?

Searching...

I was about to write a post, but then I realized what was happening and came to my senses. That was close.

I'm thinking about writing a childrens' book. . .

Kick it!